Somewhere I Belong
by ExistInspire
Summary: Two superstars face the consequences of their actions with completely different results, but find solace at the end of the night in each other.


**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and its superstars is used here purely for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is intended.

**Music Disclaimer:** All below listed lyrics are used here purely for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is intended. Lyrics are owned by **Linkin Park.**

**Summary:** Two superstars face the consequences of their actions with completely different results, but find solace at the end of the night in each other.

* * *

**(When this began)  
I had nothing to say  
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me**

He entered the hotel room by sliding the electronic key into the slot, watching in wonderment as the light flashed green and the door backed open to display the room that was now his place to hang his head for the night.

He had done this before of course, weeks upon weeks at a time but it never seemed to get any easier. As he switched his duffel bag from one hand to the other he was startled by just how cold his fingers had become.

_Some might consider you cold hearted._ He thought to himself, wanting to laugh but not finding the sound in his throat to follow through. He dumped the bag on the floor and took small steps into the room that was now his. The double bed was there of course, as it always was after a hard night of getting knocked around inside the squared circle, but the more he looked at it now, the more dark and lonely it truly felt.

He knew he was changing, that there was something happening within him that words could not express. With each new match he faced, each new opponent he had to take on, he felt a part of him drifting away into nothingness. His heart was not in the game anymore, and as he sat here now alone in this hotel room on the road before yet another trip, he had to wonder if his heart ever had been there.

His eyes landed on the mini bar that was situated right underneath the television, something he had never bothered to order or watch. He could feel it calling to him, begging him from within its chamber doors to just be cracked open and for one little drink to be taken and drowned in.

Averting his eyes, he decided instead to call down for some room service, the rumbling from his stomach almost too loud now for him to contain. There had to be an easier way of dealing with this, dealing with the dark cloud that was on the horizon threatening to trap him in its wrath. Dialing the number that seemed to be the same in each and every hotel room, he ordered what he needed and hung up, again alone in the semi darkened room.

Memories threatened to break free of his sub conscious, memories of that night, of all of the nights leading up to it, making the feeling in the pit of his stomach knot tighter, almost choking the life out of him. How had he got here? What had he done so long ago to deserve this? Was is just written that he was to be tortured, to be down on his knees with his last breath, begging for mercy?

**(I was confused)  
And I let it all out to find  
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind **

He knew where it had started of course, weeks ago when in one of his lonely stupors he had decided to befriend a Diva, someone that on the outside he really believed he could confide in. Someone who in the span of one night managed to lighten his heavy heart and bring him around to what he thought was a new light.

_What a mistake that was._ He thought, the words sinking into his subconscious and step but step eating him alive. Was there a chance of ever going back and never taking that first drink with her?

She flashed into his memory then, her blond streaked hair wrapped around his face, almost in an angry attempt to find his neck and choke the very life out of his body. If he had known then that his heart would feel this way now he never would have been there that night, the night when he had lost himself.

**Flashback**

"_Mind if I join you?"_ _the small female voice asked him, causing him to turn his attention away from the drink he was nursing and focus directly on her. Who he found to be standing there was not what he was expecting but he was not in a position to complain. Any company was better then none at this point. _

_He took his foot and kicked the chair back away from the table, causing the young woman to take a step back and search his eyes for the anger that was surely sitting there seething on the surface. _

_She took a silent seat then and proceeded to motion to the bartender to bring her drink to her new seat. She knew instinctively that he was not up for company, and truthfully neither was she, but this was not a night when she wanted to be alone. She just didn't trust herself._

"_So why are you sitting here instead of sleeping like the rest of the roster?" she asked inquisitively, genuinely wanting to know why she was not the only lost soul out in this particular bar on this night when the world seemed to be at its peaceful. _

"_Just wanted to be alone, to think, unwind." he grunted, not wanting to give the Diva more then the desired answer. He didn't know her, only what he had heard about her and with that being his main information, he found he didn't want to know anymore either. _

"_It seems we had the same plan, well aside from the being alone part. I don't think I can stomach being alone tonight."_

_He just nodded in agreement and continued to nurse his drink. At the very least if she was going to join him couldn't she do it silently? He was not in the mood for conversation, not with her and not with anyone. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts._

"_Look Ashley, if you don't mind I am just not in the mood to do a whole lot of talking, so if you insist on sitting here with me can you just shut up?"_

_He had expected her to be angry, to stand and walk away offended but when she didn't even flinch at the tone of his voice, he knew instantly that she was stronger then she appeared to be. Something that none of the other Diva's seemed to be any good at. The one's he had dealt with and turned down over the past few months anyway._

"_Sounds fine to me. Just wasn't sure if you wanted conversation or not."_

_He had to admit, the way she held herself and how his attitude didn't even seem to faze her made him the slightest bit interested in knowing just why she was afraid to be alone tonight, but not enough to break him of his need for silence. He had just settled in to the wonderful sounds of people drinking and talking around him when she decided to speak again._

"_Why don't we continue this back upstairs in the room?" she questioned, a sly look coming over her facial features and causing him to sit up and take notice. Why in the world would she want to move from this spot with him and take it to the room?_

_**She wants to get laid you idiot.**_

_Of course the voice in his mind was right but he knew that he wasn't looking for that tonight, hell not any night. He was tired of being known as the WWE tramp. He downed his beer without a second glance to the woman beside him and ordered another._

"_I take that to mean you don't want to come to my room with me?" she asked slyly, trying to get him to open up, to give her something, anything that could make this time together more interesting. Too bad he wasn't falling for one bit of it. _

"_Ashley look, I know what the entire locker room thinks of me, but thats not what I'm about. I do not want to have sex with anything that moves. As sexy as you think you may be, you are not someone that I want to spend the night with. I'm sorry."_

_He thought that would be the end of it, but when she stood up from the chair and walked over to him, and proceeded to whisper in his ear, he knew that it was never going to end. There was always going to be someone just like this, that wanted to take advantage of him this way when he was drunk no less. There really would never be an end._

"_How do you know you don't want it until you see it?"_

_He had to give her credit though, she was a ballsy woman, too bad he wasn't looking for that._

_He pushed her back lightly then and stood to his feet. He felt a little wobbly, like he had been sitting too long and the liquor had finally taken it's toll on his mind and body but he knew he had enough sense to get to his room on his own. If she wasn't going to give up with the pursuit, then he was damn sure going too._

"_Spare me Ashley, go find another Raw asshole to fuck. I don't want what you're selling."_

_As he walked from the hotel bar he had though that was going to be the end of it, but it wasn't the end of it, and it had only gotten worse for weeks after that. She had become his addiction, something that while on the road, in each and every hotel room he had to have, and it showed no signs of stopping. It had taken hold and was threatening to never let go._

_**End Flashback**_

**(Inside of me)  
But all the vacancy the words revealed  
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel  
(Nothing to lose)  
Just stuck/ hollow and alone  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own **

_Just one more pill. That's all I want, just one more damn pill._

She had been clean and off of the drugs for three weeks now but with each passing day she felt that it didn't get any easier. The desire to have those pills was still there, threatening to take hold of her and bring her to her knees.

She bent over the bed of the hotel room, another meaningless place of rest in a long line of meaningless rests and turned on the lamp. The headache hit her then with such velocity that it made her clench and grind her teeth in agony. She hated when the withdrawal headaches came because that was when she wanted the sweet release even more.

Picking up the lamp, with a great deal of ease and determination, the pain throbbing away inside her broken mind, she threw it against the wall and watched as it smashed into what seemed like a million little pieces.

_Damn him for taking away the only thing that seemed to keep her sane and calm._

He had said that he was doing it for the good of her health and long term career but she knew different. He was doing it because she became stronger then him when she was intoxicated by it, tougher then she had ever hoped to be. As she looked at the shards of glass lamp base lying around the room she could only believe that it mirrored that of her own life. The same dead end path had brought her here and threatened to leave her there in tatters.

**I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real  
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)**

**Flashback**

_He pushed her away, smelling the alcohol on her breath and seeing the results of what taking too many of her pain pills had done to her attitude. She was a different woman right now and no matter how much she said she wanted him, he knew that to not be the case. _

"_Why are you acting this way baby? I thought you liked it when I threw myself at you this way?" she murmured, her voice cracking under the pressure of all of the medication she had taken only a few hours before. She was feeling the affects alright but she didn't want him to know that. Truth be told she had never felt better in her life._

"_I do want you Trish, but I want you the way you used to be, before the medication took over your life, the way you were before you allowed yourself to be broken by Jeff Hardy."_

_He walked across the room slowly, letting his words sink into her subconscious as he did. He wanted her to kick this habit she had now, and had tried valiantly for months to do just that but to no avail. If anything it just seemed to be getting worse and he felt as if he was falling apart at the seams. He loved her, he had told her numerous times but he just couldn't continue this way unless something changed._

_She had to give up the drugs and she had to do it now._

_She was angry now, he could tell by the venomous look that radiated off of her normally bright and sunny features. He had made a mistake bringing up her past with the younger Hardy brother and now he was going to pay the price. _

"_This has nothing to do with Jeff and you know it. You just can't stand that for once in my life I am happy where I am at and you aren't the sole reason for it. Well get over it."_

_Her voice was thick with anger and he felt sick to his stomach as he listened to it. The time had come to move on and no matter what path it drove her too, he knew he couldn't do this anymore. It was time to make a clean break._

"_Trish I can't do this anymore. I can't watch you kill yourself day in and day out. You think that I'm jealous of you and thats not true. I want my girlfriend back, the one I vowed to love for the rest of my life."_

"_Well she's dead John so you might as well get over it." she spit out angrily. How dare he do this to her now? When she was on the best high of her life. Thank God she had taken half the bottle of pills instead of her usual six because right now she needed the rush it was giving her._

"_Then I guess our love died with it." he said before making his way to the hotel room door. He cast one more look back in her direction, his eyes lowered, feeling the pain of what he was about to do and then he followed through with it and walked out of the hotel room, letting the door finally slam behind him in one shattering moment of finality._

_If she didn't want to get help and kick this habit that had taken over her life then it truly was over between the two of them._

**End Flashback**

**I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along  
Somewhere I belong **

She took the needle out of her purse, the needle that was wrapped in tissue paper so that it wouldn't be detected by anyone in the locker room area where she had come from earlier in the night. The last thing she wanted was for someone to see the needle and report her to the head of the WWE. She loved her job but just needed this to get through it for a little while longer.

She didn't have a problem, she knew that. Jeff Hardy had been the one with the problem, he had taken it too far and gotten in too deep so that for five years he couldn't get out of it. Well she wasn't the same. She knew the right time to do her drugs and she didn't do what he did and flaunt them around.

He had loved her of course and she him as well and it had been so strong that he had introduced her to the feeling that the drugs could have on you and from there she had never looked back. Even though he had trashed his life, she had carried on and was better for it. But there were times like these that she did miss him though, more then she ever thought possible. John just didn't get it and he never would.

_Good Riddance_. She thought to herself as she injected the needle into her arm, turning her head away from it knowing she could never watch this part of the act. It was sacred but the fear of watching made her stomach ill so she never indulged in it.

The feeling swept over her then, taking in all of her senses, making her so aware of everything around her she sighed in contentment. God the rush was amazing, something that no bout in the ring could ever give her. This was her lover, her best friend, the willing partner she had been searching for all of these years.

The one thing in her life that never turned away from her or made her wonder why she never fit in, why she never truly belonged. It gave her everything she needed and more.

So why did she feel so alone now?

**And I've got nothing to say  
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face  
(I was confused)  
Looking everywhere only to find  
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind**

_Someone help me._

The thought was apparent in his mind as he stared at the cabinet holding the drinks that would surely make him feel better but he didn't take another step towards it. The urge was strong, threatening to over take him but he did not want to give in.

It was a constant struggle, trying his hardest to deny the pull that was so strong, but he knew he had to do it. The situation with Ashley, the nightly fucking that had become routine had to stop. He felt something for her now, it was no longer just about the sex and the gratification. He needed to put a stop to it before it threatened his whole being.

_Maybe if I get out of here I can fix all of this, start my life over again and find what it is I really want._

What was it that he really wanted anyway? Was it to be normal again, to not be the constant joke of the locker room? To not be babysat by his family? He wanted to break away, but more then that, he knew that he had to find out where he belonged.

Grabbing his coat and throwing one more look back towards the cabinet that was now screaming in agony for him to open it and indulge, he headed out the door. Destination was unknown but it was better then the alternative.

As soon as he hit the hallway he saw her lumped against the wall, a trickle of blood pouring out of the inside of her arm, almost as if she had injected herself and this was the backlash.

He ran to her then and with one quick movement bent down on the floor beside her, checking to make sure she was breathing and was aware of what was going on around her.

"Leave me alone Randy!" she screamed at him, her voice so shrill he was sure she could heard four floors down. He recognized this look and speak of course, it was the way he was when he was stoned cold drunk, something he now was thankful that he hadn't gone ahead and done, no matter how deep the urge had been and the memories were.

"Trish you can't do this, this is not you and you know it. Let me help you."

She laughed then, an almost manic laugh that made her seem almost evil. Something he had seen and heard before because when he was wasted he was much the same way. No one could seem to touch him and that was the case with her now. She felt she was better then everyone around her. It was the drugs talking and not her real belief.

"What is with all of you do gooders always coming to my rescue when I don't even ask you too?" she said then, her voice still shrill and her face still contorted into a smile.

"I don't want to rescue you Trish, I want you to rescue me." he stated matter of factly before her causing the smile to completely wipe from her expression and her eyes to suddenly go soft.

"What makes you think i can do that Randy?"

"Because worrying about you instead of my extreme urge to drink myself dead is already helping."

Randy watched her as she went dead silent then and he found himself wondering for the first time in months just what a woman was really thinking. Or rather he found himself caring what she was thinking. He was truthful when she said he didn't want to save her because if he couldn't save himself on his own he would be no good doing it for her, but the feeling of seeing her there now slumped in the hallway made him wonder if maybe they were not both after the same things.

"Trish come back to my room with me, talk to me, yell at me, do whatever you want but do not make me go back in that room alone tonight, please."

He shocked even himself as he said it and he watched intently as she seemed to mull over what he had just asked of her. Maybe is she saw that he had the same dilemma as her then she would be more apt to want to come back with him and they could both help each other through whatever it was that was eating them from the inside out.

She stood then, slowly and off kilter but strongly enough to know that she didn't need his help to do it. He extended his hand to her then and made his way back the same way he had come, slipping the card again into the door and watching again in awe as it swung open like an omen of the night to come.

Flipping off the lights, knowing that Trish would not be able to deal with the lighting of the room he moved out of the way to let her enter and closed the door behind him as she did.

With the final sound from the door closing, trapping them in the room together in many ways, he wondered just what he had been thinking inviting her in here with him. He had no idea where to take this next.

**(So what am I)  
What do I have but negativity  
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me  
(Nothing to lose)  
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own **

What happened next took Randy off guard. She seemed to turn around in a flash, pushing him strongly up against the back of the hotel room door. Standing on her tip toes she pusher her lips to his roughly, eagerly pushing his lips apart so that she could deepen the kiss she was now laying on him.

He wanted to push her away, wanted to tell her that this was not what he had in mind when he had invited her back here but he knew that if he did any of that it would all be a lie. He wanted this, wanted to have this womans lips on his, wanted to feel her petite body pressing against his this way. It might not be the smartest thing either of them had ever done but he knew it was what he wanted in that moment and it would help him forget.

He pushed back against her lips, hungrily sliding his tongue into her mouth and feeling as he matched up with hers in a hungry test of wills. His body was starting to respond to the sensations and the heat that was flowing off of her body and without another thought, not breaking the sweaty heat filled kiss for a minute, he picked her up and threw her legs around his waist, taking her to the bed and laying her down roughly.

A moment of clarity hit him as he watched her laying on the bed, sweat pouring from her pores and her eyes aimed hungrily in his direction. He wanted this so badly he felt he was going to implode from the inside out but he knew that it wasn't just him that he needed to worry about.

"Trish, tell me that this is what you want."

Sitting up from the bed in a flash she wrapped her arms around his neck and dragged him down on top of her kissing him and only breaking away to lift his shirt that was now separated from his jeans away from his body. Tossing it away she went back to kissing him, starting with his lips and then breaking away long enough to begin all over again on his neck, sucking, using her tongue to lick over the sweat she now found dripping down from his face. It tasted like tears, the blood sweat and tears of a million nights alone and she couldn't get enough of it.

She broke away then and caught Randy's eyes, which were now smoldering with the passion that bad broken out in the room.

"Make love to me Randy...please, no more waiting."

**I will never know myself until I do this on my own  
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed  
I will never be anything till I break away from me  
I will break away, I'll find myself today **

He took her words to heart and before pushing her back onto the mattress and the sheets below her, she slowly slid off her shirt, exposing the black lace bra that was now screaming at him to be removed. He admired her for a mere second before putting his hands around her back and unclasping the bra, letting it fall against the back of the bed, before he pushed it off and finally laid her back down. He climbed on top of her and undid the buttons of her jeans, taking his time and he slowly slid them off of her body, exposing the curves that ever man in the continental US had fallen in love with and he was finally getting the chance to explore.

He was hungry to explore ever inch of her body but before he could get the chance, she pulled him roughly back down on top of her, smashing her mouth to his, moaning into his mouth for more. She wanted him to take her to the edge and he was more then happy in that moment to oblige.

He pushed her thong aside, not wanting to waste another moment with her so eager to continue and as he slipped his boxers down, the hardness of his manhood escaped and was thankful for the breath of fresh air.

"Now Randy!!! I can't wait anymore!" she screamed and moaned at the same time, causing his manhood to become even more harder at the sound of her voice. Pushing all thoughts of sexual safety out of his mind he entered her then, felt the wetness slowly overtake his shaft as he did and he moaned himself in pure pleasure. Never before had he felt a wetness quite like this before and with each push he made inside of her, no matter how slow it was, it just kept becoming wetter.

Trish dug her nails in his back in pure pleasure and allowed the feeling of being made love to by Randy overtake all of her senses. The way he felt inside her as he he moved slowly in and out, driving her wild with each and ever push and pull was earth shattering. She had never made love this way before, with this much passion and ease and she found herself hungry for more and more.

She felt it then, the severe pressure building in her clitoris and knew that it was only a few seconds away from losing all control. She had been here before of course with other men in her past, but this felt different in that it was heavier, more intense and just dying to get out. He yelled her name then and she felt him grow harder inside of her body with each movement and knew that the time had come for him to come full circle with his release.

The crash came then, at the same time as he picked up speed pumping his final load inside of her, and she dug her nails deeper into his back letting the feeling of the wave of pleasure overtake her senses completely. It was over within a few minutes and he collapsed on top of her small and slender body, completely worn out from the pleasure of it all.

She fell asleep then, to the sound of Randy's heartbeat above her to calm her shattered nerve endings. There was only one thought as she drifted off into dreamland though and for once it had nothing to do with drugs, it had to do with what she had just found in this man's hotel room tonight.

She had finally found somewhere she belonged.

**I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
Somewhere I belong**

* * *


End file.
